why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
