My Higher Power is John Stamos
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
