i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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