ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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