there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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