She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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