YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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