"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
a search helicopter?!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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