She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
