Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
