So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
