oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
