I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
