ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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