also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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