I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize