Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
