I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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