I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
