You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
