So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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