How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
