i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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