One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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