listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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