dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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