hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
