Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
