You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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