Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
