i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
