I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
