Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
