I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
