Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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