After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
