Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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