Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize