But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
