hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
