Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
