There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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