Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
