cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
