I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
