fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize