it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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