i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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