He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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