so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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