Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
