I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
