with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
