i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
