He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I need a burrito and a hug.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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