I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
ugly people sure do ruin things
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
